


Coping Mechanisms

by Tictacboxes



Category: 17776: What Football Will Look Like in the Future - Jon Bois
Genre: Existentialism, Football, also nine talks about dogs, idk i think i wrote it pretty though, space probes, this is just nine having a fucking existential crisis and crying probably
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-13
Updated: 2017-07-13
Packaged: 2018-12-01 13:06:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11487003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tictacboxes/pseuds/Tictacboxes
Summary: Nine tries to cope with the fact that they're, y'know, a space probe with human things. An existential crisis follows. Enjoy!





	Coping Mechanisms

_ Okay _ , thought Nine.  _ I need to calm down. Calm down.  _

 

_ What is the opposite of calm? _

 

_ Mad? _

 

_ No, I'm not mad, but confused isn't the opposite either, and I know I'm at least confused. But you can be confused and calm at the same time, and I am the former for sure, but definitely not the latter.  _

 

_ Upset?  _

 

Images, straight from earth and all the TV signals that had embedded themselves inside of Nine, suddenly flashed across their interface. Lots of crying, mostly pretty women made to look dainty, made complete with bad acting. But there were a few that felt more real. Some of the humans in the upset images looked angry too, which Nine could understand. Mad and sad, absolutely desolate and confused and hungry for  _ something _ -

 

_ I wonder if they cry anymore.  _

 

But Nine decided that  _ upset _ was a good word for what they felt. If Nine could cry instead of just yell and get yelled at by asking too many questions, then they most certainly would. 

 

Nine wondered about the animals, next. Did nature still keep continuing for the rest of the inhabitants of the earth? The trees, the birds, the  _ dogs?  _

 

Or if they were all immortal, too. If photosynthesis just stopped, if puppies just stopped being born, eggs were non-existent. 

 

What was the music like? The books? The goddamn  _ art?  _

 

Nine needed to be writing these questions down for Ten later. Hopefully she'd answer some. At least about the dogs. 

 

_ I need to calm down.  _

 

_ Access: copingmechanisms.PDF _

 

_ Hello! Welcome to Dr. Robelli’s list of coping mechanisms for when you're finally beginning to face the truth about your immortality.  _

 

This wasn't important. Nine scrolled through faster. 

 

_ Number One: Deep Breathing.  _

 

Nine couldn't do any fucking deep breathing shit. Nine was a goddamn space probe. 

 

_ Number Two: Moving Onto Yoga!  _

 

…

 

_ Number Three: Talking It Out  _

 

No, they couldn't. Not right now. Nine needed time to process everything, to take what Ten had said to heart (did Nine have a heart? Probably not, but they couldn't just have  _ nothing _ , right?) Nine had all the time in the universe to think of and ask questions. Talking it out would be more efficient, but- 

 

Right. What Ten said about  _ efficiency not existing anymore.  _ Nine would need some time to dwell on that one. 

 

_ Number Four: Engage In One Of The Many Pseudo-Capitalistic Societies And Hardcore LARP Growing Older And Having Kids And Then Die Until You're Ready To Get Up Again  _

 

Well. Right. Maybe not. Nine couldn't really do that- like, Nine knew that they were a space probe. That their work was finished and they weren't really  _ human _ , but what made something human? Did it have to  _ look _ human? Have flesh? Or was it more independent thoughts and some sort of innate desire that defined  _ humanity.  _ At least the non-broken kind that Nine knew. 

 

Nine marked that one under  _ Questions to Ask Ten _ and moved on to the final coping mechanism listed. 

 

_ Number Five: Watch Football.  _

 

That, Nine could manage. 

**Author's Note:**

> remember to leave kudos/comments and u can follow me on tumblr at juiceyfootball.tumblr.com or my askblog askjuice17776.tumblr.com


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